


The Gnu at the Zoo

by Small_Hobbit



Series: At the Drop of a Deerstalker [2]
Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 19:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7450639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr Watson encounters a new animal in his search for something unusual in the zoo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gnu at the Zoo

**Author's Note:**

> Idea taken from the Flanders & Swann song: [The Gnu Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPgo6s1lBbw)

Dr Watson looked around Her Majesty’s Zoological Garden, in Regent’s Park, with a sense of bewilderment.  It was all very well Sherlock Holmes telling him to see if anything unusual was occurring, but as he wasn’t a regular visitor it all looked rather unusual to him.

Watson wandered a little further along and found a visitor who was busy instructing anyone within earshot about the animals they could see.  Watson hung back to ensure the man was not tempted to address him directly, but remained within earshot.  It was conceivable if there was any unusual activity this apparent fount of knowledge would comment upon it.

Watson ignored the tedious remarks regarding the habits of the baboons, although he did note the baboons seemed to be making gestures he’d last come across in the army.  From there they moved to where the porcupine resided.  All and sundry were informed how many quills the porcupine had.  Watson refrained from pointing out the man was actually looking at a hedgehog atop an anteater.  This came as no surprise to Watson, for he knew for a fact Inky was currently helping out at the _Marylebone Monthly Illustrated_ , where they were preparing a special edition for the Diamond Jubilee.

Then Watson spotted Charles Jamrach standing by another enclosure, writing something in his notebook.  This was of considerable interest, for the man ran the biggest exotic pet store in the country.  A keeper was standing beside Jamrach, presumably giving him information.  The animal was a large one, so it was unlikely Jamrach intended to steal it, but it was certain his interest was not purely academic.

Watson waited until Jamrach had moved on before he enquired of the man he’d been half listening to, what the animal was.

“Oh, that’s a helk,” the man said and headed off in another direction.

Watson went over to take a closer look at the animal, and was somewhat startled to hear it say, “I hain’t a helk, I’m a gnu, spelled G-N-U.  I’m quite the gnicest work of nature in the zoo.”

“I’m sure you are,” Watson replied, “I don’t suppose you could tell me what your keeper was saying to that other man?”

The gnu waited until a family with three small children moved past, then said, “He’s not my keeper.  He’s supposed to work with the camels and kangaroos, but zoo gossip has it he’s more interested in overcharging for the camel rides than anything else.  Anyway they were discussing how to transport an animal like myself.  The keeper wasn’t very knowledgeable, so I don’t think they will find it very easy.”

“Which might mean the animal gets hurt,” Watson said thoughtfully.  “I don’t suppose you have any further details?”

“They mentioned something about a red star and Wednesday,” the gnu replied.

“Thank you,” Watson said, “You’ve been very helpful.”

The following week the local newspaper reported an incident at the docks in which a large animal of a generally bovine description had escaped from its crate and disappeared into the dock area.  When the port authorities had sought to discover the circumstances they were told variously of a porcupine, a sloth and an ocelot.  Since none of the dock workers appeared to be drunk it was recorded as one more bizarre event in the life of the docks.  Mr Sherlock Holmes had been there that morning, making enquiries about another case, and when asked merely remarked that _once_ you _eliminate the impossible_ , whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

Later that day Watson said to Mrs Hudson, “You’re looking very pleased, have you had some good news?”

“Mrs Turner and I took a little outing to the zoo this morning.  It turns out Mrs Turner has a distant cousin who is quite an important official at the zoo and he offered to show us around a little.  I happened to mention, rather loudly I’m afraid, that I was horrified at how much it had cost me for camel rides for my grand-daughters last week.  Mrs Turner’s cousin was very surprised and promised to follow it up.”

Holmes looked up.  “I didn’t know you had grand-daughters.”

Mrs Hudson smiled serenely.  “Dear me, I don’t.  How silly of me.”

#####

The next year Watson had accompanied Holmes on a case which had taken them to the West Country.  Whilst Holmes was reading through various documents, Watson took the opportunity to go for a walk.  He saw a herd of cows, and grazing contentedly amongst them was an animal which looked vaguely familiar.

Was it a bison, or an okapi or a hartebeest, he wondered.  And then it came to him.  Of course it wasn’t a dreadful hartebeest; it was the animal they had rescued the previous year.

And singing cheerfully he made his way back to the lodgings.  “ _I’m a gnu, a gnother gnu._ ”


End file.
